For My Son Brandon

I had heard of the feelings of a mother for her son
But I never knew what it meant
Until my son, my precious one
As a gift from my God was sent

He was fat and cute, no hair on his head
The first time they brought him to me
I felt such pride my heart nearly burst
For this was my son, Brandon

So much sheer pleasure he has given to me
This sweet little boy of mine
Time passes so fast and yet, seems so short
From birth a year has past and he is going to be one

With hair now so full and light brown and a smile from ear to ear
Two dimples in his cute chubby cheeks
He can melt my heart, fade my temper away
When he gives me his cute little grin

He is so sweet
And so rarely temper is seen
When mischief rises ever so high
In those beautiful big brown eyes

He is my baby and always will be
So much love my family and i give to him
my son, our precious one

I thank God each day for giving him to me
This one hundred percent little boy
Into my life, my son, my most precious one.

ehh...

there's a point in your life when you get tired of

chasing everyone & trying to fix everything. But its not

giving up...its realizing that you dont need certain

people, the bullshit and the drama they bring :)

Time To Wake Up - Laws of Attraction

It's time for the "mainstream" to WAKE UP. The alarm clock is ringing, they keep hitting snooze, and in the meantime, the life they could be living is passing them by.

Day after day, millions of people go through their lives wishing and hoping and dreaming that things could be better, with absolutely no knowledge that it is they themselves that perpetuate their own dissatisfaction.

It is not the "gifted few" who create their realities. It's not just for those in the metaphysical community. It is all of us, every single one. However, there are a few who have awakened to this knowledge, and make creating their reality a daily event...manifesting whatever it is they want in their life with seemingly no effort!

Meanwhile the rest of the world looks on in wonder and disbelief. They assume that these "fortunate few" are among the cosmically lucky.

To be honest, the whole thing generates some anger in me. The problem is that we are "dumbed down" by society throughout our whole lives under the pretense that we are actually being intellectualized. The "scholarly" tell us that metaphysical topics like reality creation are pure fantasy. Science insists on measurable evidence of everything before it will acknowledge such claims as fact.

However, it's really not that difficult to comprehend. Even the most skeptical people should be able to grasp a few simple concepts like:

- Everything in the Universe is composed of Energy, including you and me. Even our thoughts are Energy.

- Through Energy, everything in the Universe is connected.

- The Universe creates without effort, and in abundance. Just look around you. Trees, rocks, air, planets, etc. all were created without stress, effort, or over-analyzation. The Force you choose to believe initiated the creative process doesn't matter. They are all there and were created effortlessly.

- You ARE a part of the Universe and through the power of thought, have the same creative power that manifests everything you see. The only thing that limits your potential is your own belief system!

Everything that occurs in your life is interpreted BY YOU. You add the meaning, you add the emotional response, you add EVERYTHING. It is your thoughts that literally take the energy "data" and transpose it into your reality. What you consider "real" is nothing more than an agreement that you've made with yourself (and no doubt many others in some cases).

This is how our reality has been shaped. This is how we have learned what is possible, and what is impossible. We learned it from OTHER PEOPLE. The problem is these other people (family and friends perhaps?) have their OWN limiting belief systems, which they ALSO consider "real".

So human limitations spread like a virus, and we don't even realize what's happening.

As discouraging as this is, many of us ARE waking up. I personally feel it my sacred duty to shake people out of this "intellectual trance" that limits them and show them what is truly possible.

So what IS the difference between those who cruise through life in a seemingly perpetual state of bliss, with everything they want coming to them with no effort, and the rest of the population working at jobs they hate for the sake of doing the "responsible" thing, hoping that SOME DAY they can live the lives they hope for?

The difference is that these people know their purpose, know WHY they absolutely HAVE to fulfill that purpose, and commit themselves to never stopping until they realize their dream. They may or may not have thrown the accepted definition of "responsibility" out the window. The only thing that matters ultimately is that they now live lives they love, following their passions.

You see it is our PASSIONS in life that tell us precisely what we are to do. When we follow our passions our life lights up. We give off incredibly powerful energy which attracts our desires to us. That means people, money, objects, careers...whatever we want that is in line with our purpose. The Universe WANTS to provide those things we want most. It is only our own limiting belief systems that stop fulfillment from occurring.

sometimes...

"Sometimes we put up walls.

Not to keep people out,

but to see who cares enough

to knock them down."

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is many things, all of which requires action, focus and energy and support on our part. Spend some time reflecting on the following statements which describe forgiveness, and consider how well you are doing in each of these areas...

Forgiveness is a by-product of an ongoing healing process...

Forgiveness ia an internal process...

Forgiveness is a sign of positive self-esteem...

Forgiveness is letting go of the intese emotions attached to incidents from our past...

Forgiveness is recognizing that we no longer need our grudges and resentments, our hatred and self-pitty...

Forgiveness in no longer wanting to punish the people who hurt us...

Forgiveness is accepting that nothing we do to punish then will heal us...

Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentment, and nursing unhealed wounds...

Forgiveness is moving on...

To True, Too Often

Too often we don't realize
What we have until it is gone
Too often we wait too late to say
"I'm sorry - I was wrong."

Sometimes it seems we hurt the ones
We hold dearest to our hearts
And we allow foolish things
To tear our lives apart.

Far too many times we let
Unimportant things into our minds
And then it's usually too late
To see what made us blind.

So be sure that you let people know
How much they mean to you
Take that time to say the words
Before your time is through.

Be sure that you appreciate
Everything you've got
And be thankful for the little things
in life that mean a lot.

Drivers Ed 101 and a Weekend Get Away

its been a hot minute since i have JABBED and bitched or vent about what has been going on with my so called life.. any how first off im not complaining because i love the life that i have now... with my son Brandon my family and my great circle of friends. .. but here is the story i have to things to blog about..


1st


ok, now tell me this if your parked by a curb lets say in front of a restaurant and your about to pull out to the street.. so you first make sure its clear before you pull out or your pull out and not check if its clear and get honked at by on coming traffic and call you a stupid driver.. well i would say the first one is correct.. well this son of a bitch (filipino may i add) gets mad at me cause i honked at him when he was pulling out and has the nerve to say i have a mickey mouse drivers license ok WTF.. and he bust out saying you want me to hit you like that (with a fob accent) when we were at a light...i told him that he almost hit me and i have the right of away and as the light turn green.. he literally try to hit me.. that son of a bitch i was so fucking heated and i yelled at him and threaten to call the cops and i guess he didnt know i was filipino and i said putang ina mo..lucky Brandon was not in the car with me .. but i was pissed i chased him and he kept on trying to avoid me cause his ass new i was right... any how enough about him.. every time i think about it, it just makes my blood boil.

2nd

Headed to Tahoe for the weekend and it was nice getting away with the friends and may i add having a child changes the way you act or think twice about what your about to do.. i mean i didnt get really messed up because the only thing on my mind was Brandon and how it would effect how i would take care of him if i wasnt in the right state of mind yah know.. any how thanks to Tuan and Lanie for driving up to Tahoe and cuzin Jay for the good cookies.. and the rest of the folks there that made the weekend a good one.. meeting knew friendly folks and getting reunited with the old ones..



oh and by the way.. i chopped my hair and here is how it looks now..






ok i guess thats about it.. hmm hopefully i can get to write more when i get the chance.. and im still debating if im going back to At&t or if im not im going to have to start looking for a job some where in my area.. im so tired of the commute.. but if i have to sacrafice the i guess i gotta do what i gotta do yah know.. ok.. JAB more next time.. PEACE

Karaoke Revolution

Ok the other night me and China went to sun valley mall with Brandon, she wanted to buy a jacket but couldnt find it... i was trying to look for a fit to wear for Leia baptismal and the night i hang out with Lanie and Tuan, you never know i might meet someone hahaha.. any how i couldnt find anything so we ate dinner at Fresh Choice and headed to best buy after to buy ink for the printer and i found Karaoke Rev. and i played it till mid-night.. i was singing my ass off and having fun,and i've unlocked hellah things.. my goal is to make it to Diamond level..im stuck at platinum..its soo fun and probablly even better with more people joining me.. hmm i guess thats all.. woke up with a cramp on my neck.. and im kinda moody today because of it.. gotta get ready for church..JAB later

Brandons appointment

Brandons appointment was yesterday, he was suppose to get his shots but i forgot to add him to my insurance so i had to reschedule. But i was able to discuss about his circumsize, and they cant do it and have to go to a specialist. I kinda blame the doctor cuz, he was saying when he comes in to his next appointment will schedule it, and would make an exception since he was born a big baby. and i was constantly buggn him when i was in the hospital that i wanted it done before we went home. but since it was the holidays he wasnt sure it can be done. or maybe he was just bullshitting. WTF any how Brandon is 12lbs 3oz now and getting bigger by the minute... here is the most recent picture of him new years day. im going to take a nap now, my auntie wants to visit my uncle at fairfield.. so tah tah for now

EDD

did you know that when you try to call EDD and actually try to speak to a rep, there is a maximum limit of people to call. its freaking irritating because ive been trying to call for like a week and i can never get thru. and today i actually woke up early and try to be the first caller and i freaking fell asleep and woke up at 9:15 and they take calls at 8..agh!!! i' try again tomorrow. i really need to talk to someone because i need to let them know that i had a c-section and the paper they provided to let them know that i had a c-section, i think my grandma threw it away and thats an extra 2 weeks of pay.

any how ... i have a doctors appointment today and Brandon has his tomorrow.. and we are going to schedule his circumsize (spelling) also.. thats all for today i think..hmm im wondering if im even doing this blogging thing right.. b-cuz there is another option i saw that says create another blog.. and the one im doing now is a new post.. so whats the difference?? egh whatever.. this seems easier.. byee for now

being a mommy

My son was born November 21, 2006 @ 10:35 am 9lbs 3oz 20 inches.. it was the happiest moment in my life and tears of joy fell from my eyes the moment the doctor showed him to me. Its amazing how a human being is made by just a single sperm and egg and you take care and nurish this human being developing inside you for 9 months...actually for the rest of their lives. I knew i wanted to be a mom before i was 30 and i knew i would be a good one...but having Brandon in my life is such a big change, even if im not married or if things dont work out with me and the baby daddy.. he is my first priority, my life. My life 3 1/2 years ago was all a blurr.. i was single and enjoying it, not having a serious relationship or having to worry about anything besides my family and friends. I have a few friends that started early with having a family and kids.. but not me.. i wanted to enjoy every minute of my single life as much as possible.. and i did, i had plenty of good times and none i regret and i can still enjoy life now.. as a new mommy.. and i enjoyed every second when i was pregnant because i had the support from my family and my friends who gave me advice, and those who shared there pregnancy with me.. its funny cuz 5 of my girlfriends including me were all pregnant and we all gave birth a month a part..starting from July and im the last one for this year... and until now im enjoying motherhood, learning something new every day watching him grow.. and getting use to saying he is my son and hearing my brothers and sister say nephew.. everyday i smile because of him. I can say right now "LIFE IS GREAT"

First Blog

a close friend of mine had ask me to join her in this blogging thingee and which i did and this is my first blog, and this one is for you Lanie... my very first blog


here's to the nights that turned into days.. days that turned into entire weekends. we met somewhere down the line through someone just as awesome as we are! no matter what reason was.. i am so thankful because the memories of those club nights...all the shots..laughing at the folks who let us go and the folks who try wayy too hard.. running around from bar to bar.. taking
thousands of pictures... you are now a part of my life and i am greatful because you absolutely rock!!!